Paid off my ticket!!

I am so happy!! My no insurance ticket has been paid in full!

Life progresses

Thing 1 is officially in Pre K, and she is so excited to go to school every day. I am officially 4 weeks and 4 days pregnant!! 

Acid reflux

Well I have acid reflux right now, not fun. I am tired and will be going to bed soon.

Possibly prego

Well, I won't be able to find out until later next week, but I believe that I am pregnant. All of the signs are pointing to Yes. I do hope that I am, just because I miss being pregnant. I miss the feeling of that little one moving inside of me. But this is the update on life :)

Regrets

I feel really awful. I promised Kail something yesterday, and today I forgot about it. I really don't want to hurt him. And now, I don't know what to do. He is such a good man, and I betrayed his trust yet again. If only there was some way to make it up to him, but I know that nothing will work. I guess I will just have to ride this out, like I do everything else.

Changes need to be made

Clearly I have mental issues that still need work. But I will get through this and be stronger for it. I love my husband and my children dearly. They are my motivation for getting up every day. I think that going to this group therapy thing will be very good for me, not only does it get me out of the house, but I also will have interactions with other people.

When it comes down to it, I will always have to work on myself, this will be a never ending task. I will also have to continue to work on my marriage with Kail. We are hitting another rough patch right now, with me not doing so good in the head, as well as what we both personally need.

I know that we will get through this, hell we've been through so much worse. And now that I've hit bottom, there is no place to go but up.

So this is where things are standing at this point. We shall see where these paths will lead us.

Worthless

I am worthless. This is how I really feel about myself. I hate myself down to the very core of my being.

School is back in session

Well, we are now in week 3 of the new semester of school. I am so tired all of the time. This schedule will take some getting used to. I can get up at 5:30a, no problem. I just have a problem of staying awake the whole day. Gonna put the kiddos to bed, and then head there myself. Got a busy day ahead of us tomorrow.

Snow day

We took the kids outside and had their first snowball fight. They had so much fun!!! I am so grateful for everything that I have in my life

Life is unexpected

Kail had a panic attack about death tonight. All I could do was try and console him. I know how he feels. He wants to believe in something, but he just can't. I just have to keep reminding him that he isn't alone.